


Distance

by NoOneKnowsIWrite



Series: One-Shot Missed [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Break Up, Gen, Heartbreak, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, One Shot, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Sad with a Happy Ending, it's late and I needed to write something, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 21:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoOneKnowsIWrite/pseuds/NoOneKnowsIWrite
Summary: Distance is a beautifully painful thing.





	Distance

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I wrote this a bit ago. I need a break from writing Unbelievable as (unbelievably) my mind has froze on the story. Here's a short bit about break ups and heart break and over coming it I wrote at 2 am when I was thinking about my exes. As always, critique welcome!

Distance is a beautiful, painful thing.

_It's what separates the bad from the good, the happy and sad. It's the constant companion to time and death as the three dance around the world watching it change and shift without a care. It will always be there to remind you of what could have been and what will be just out of your reach. It's the reminder of heart break that you won't ever get over because it aches too much._

This is what they thought as the words they never wanted to see flashed over the screen. They swallowed hard and their whole body shook. _The distance is getting between us. He's there for me and you aren't. I'm sorry but I can't handle this anymore._ Their hands wanted to press on the keys to the laptop and their body wanted to collapse into itself. Their mind was blank and full of everything at once. Their stomach felt hollow and their chest felt like someone had torn it open and scraped everything inside out with a rusty knife. They wanted to scream but their throat was tight and if they opened their mouth they were going to hurl. The person they loved the most, the person they were so sure they were going to put a ring on their finger, who they told everything to and never went a day without talking to, was now gone. Their eyes were watering and they dropped their hands to their lap before feeling hot salty tears stream down their face. They had  dedicated two years of their life to this person and now they, because of the _distance,_ that was supposedly between them, was gone and over. They quickly got up from the floor as they felt their stomach lurch and rushed to the bathroom. Nothing came out even though they desperately wanted something to. They could barely see through their tears and finally screamed as they felt their heart shatter into tiny pieces and the shards cut deep into their skin. They screamed and hit the wall with their fists as they slid to the floor. They continued to sob and scream and hit until their hands were aching and throat begging to stop. Clenched fists wiped away tears that continued to stream down their face and short breathes echoed in the quiet bathroom. Throughout the screaming they had forgotten to breathe and now were gasping; the pain in their chest worsened with each breath. " _What did I do?_ "  They choked out and felt themselves cave in as they spoke. They had tried to hard to make things work, to make the other person happy, to make sure nothing would ever come between them. But for nothing. Finally, they were able to take a deep  without gasping and held it before letting go. They deflated with the breath and curled onto their side beside the cold porcelain throne. The tile felt like ice against their skin and they closed their eyes as sobs and hiccups quietly came from them. 

_The thing about distance is, even though it brings pain and can separate even the best of people, it can also bring the good. Separation isn't something most people like to talk about. Whether it's of parents divorcing, couples splitting up, siblings no longer talking, not having something or someone in your life that you just need to have there. While distance brings separation and its painful truth, it also brings relief and content. Relief for when you realize that maybe it was for the best and you'll be okay now. Having the time and clear mind to take a breath and notice how you don't feel smothered anymore or like you have to be perfect. Being able to take a step back and look at everything in a way you never were able to and see that this distance, this thing that brought you pain and shattered your being, was all for the better and that you will be okay in the end._

It had been months now for them since their world felt like it had been shaken and broken forever. Only they were able to see that wasn't the case. The first weeks had passed by with tears shed everyday and the feeling of being nothing always in their mind and the worst hollow feeling in their chest. They would find it hard to breathe at times that reminded them of that person and would break down and hide. Things that reminded them of that person were easily avoided and they refused to even talk to that person face to face or in any other way. They avoided everything to do with them. They weren't able to do much and going about daily tasks felt impossible. Until one day, it wasn't. One specific night while they shivered in their bed asleep, they were suddenly awaken by something. They had looked around their room but didn't see anyone. No sounds came from anywhere near by and they couldn't think of what had woken them. Until they laid their head back down and tried to drift off to sleep did they realize something. For weeks their first thought had always been about _them_ and how they wanted to be with them still even though they knew it would never happen. It had happened like this for weeks until that night. Their first thought then hadn't been of that person, rather of how quiet everything was and how they loved it. They took a deep breath and felt it reach their lungs for what felt like the first time in years. They were able to breathe and not have it interrupted by tears and sobs and pleads. Their whole being was relaxed and calm and they stared aimlessly at the ceiling trying to figure out what this new feeling was. Only when they had been lying in bed for what felt like hours did it come to them. _Relief._

Distance had been their foe and they hated even hearing the word. But now, it wasn't. Distance seemed like a gentle embrace from a friend that held on tight and comforted them in the most sincere and loving ways. They took another deep breath and smiled as they let this feeling take over before closing their eyes and sleeping heavily for the first time in weeks. This feeling continued to grow everyday as they were slowly able to do everything they use to with the same passion and attention. They cried less and less, letting the feeling take them when they wanted to shed a tear. Soon they no longer felt the ache in their throat from sobbing and their eyes seemed to clear into perfect colors as they were now able to finally smile. These smiles were brought on by anything and they would laugh and giggle behind their hands when they would try to hide it. They went out more and were able to see things that reminded them of that person without even flinching. They were able to even see that person at places they would both go to. The library, school, random places on the street and they no longer felt like they would fall apart. They smiled to themselves when they saw something funny. They waved at friends who they hadn't seen in months.

Relief had brought on new feelings of joy and caution. They would meet someone new who they would like but would be careful to not get too close. They kept a safe distance between them and anyone who wanted to get close. They would smile or acknowledge those who would seem interested but would keep themselves careful for fear of heartbreak. It was, they had decided, a safe distance that they were able to live with and that continued to let relief flow through them when they needed it. Years had passed by then and their battle with distance and heart ache seemed to be a memory they had almost forgotten. It wasn't until they saw that person again on the street did all of the emotion, pain, and agony flood back into their mind. Before they could react though, they crossed the street and walked in the opposite direction putting distance between them and that person. They were happy now with their lives and had someone new. They didn't see why they couldn't keep the distance between them and that person permanent.  Even though there was a small ache in their chest, they smiled.

_The thing about distance is, it's a painfully beautiful thing._

 


End file.
